Funny

The Brain Transplant Clinic
A guy decided to go to the brain transplant clinic to refreshen his supply of brains. The secretary informed him that they had three kinds of brains available at that time. Doctore’ brains were going for $20 per ounce and engineers’ brains were getting $30 per ounce. And then there were lawyers’ brains which were currently fetching $1000 per ounce.” 1000 dollars he cried. “Why are they so expensive?”
“Well” she explained, “It takes more lawyers to get an ounce of brains.”


Duck Food?
A duck walks into a store and says “Got any duck food?” The store manager tells the duck,”Get outta here, we don’t serve ducks and we don’t have any duck food.”
The next day the duck is back again asking “Got any duck food?” The store manager says,” I told u yesterday we don’t have any duck food!! ”, and kick the duck out again.
Third day, same thing. “Got any duck food? “ Store manager says “If you come in here asking for duck food again, I’m gonna nail your webbed feet to the floor!!!”
Sure enough, next day the duck walks in the store and right up to the store manager,” You got any nails???” The store manager says “NO!!! “ The duck then says” Good, you got any duck food???”


A Couple
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

What difference of Mother and Wife
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.

Yes and No
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Picture of Wife
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"

A Sweetheart
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Mother and Son
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.


A newly married
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"